Before we dive into the actual subject of this post, let’s make one thing perfectly clear. Needing help doesn’t mean you’re broken. Giving help doesn’t make you better. Mutual aid is about survival together, not sob stories, and not sainthood.
Now that that’s cleared up, let’s figure out what mutual aid really is… Or more importantly, what it’s not. Or even more importantly, how to use it the right way.
When the government drags its feet or actively works against helping people (And what is the government for anyway if it doesn’t provide benefits to society on all levels?), all the charities have wait lists, and Go Fund Me pages are about as hopeful as lottery tickets, mutual aid is something that still says, “I got you.”
What Is Mutual Aid?
It should be pretty obvious from the name. Mutual aid is when people help each other directly. There are no forms to fill out, bureaucratic red tape to break through, or tests to pass. It’s not transactional like business, although the word “mutual” is an important part of the whole thing.
Community members – most often poor folks, working-class people, and marginalized groups – come together to help each other survive and get to a place where they can even thrive. It’s not necessarily about money either. Aid can come in a wide variety of formats.
- You don’t have any food in your fridge? I have extra I can offer.
- Your electricity is about to be turned off, and you only need $50 more to cover the bill? I’ll take care of that for you.
- You really need a ride to urgent care but can’t afford an Uber? Let me give you a ride.
- You’re scared about an upcoming job interview? I’ll take the time to practice interview questions with you.
What Mutual Aid Is NOT
Mutual aid doesn’t have a CEO. It doesn’t have any organization at all. You won’t find clever marketing materials with sad-looking children and sappy songs tugging at your heartstrings. It’s just people reaching out to each other.
It’s not charity. Charities often come with strings attached like proving that you deserve help, sitting through some religious lecture, signing up for some program, or agreeing to be recorded for some marketing that mostly goes to padding the organization leaders’ pockets.
It’s also not a one-way street. Mutual, remember? While it isn’t about directly exchanging things with other people, the spirit of helping others should inspire you to offer something when you can. It’s perfectly fine if you need something today, next week, and even next month. However, you should also try to find something that you can offer to others who need as well. A community only works and benefits when everyone creates a circle of support.
How Did This Whole Mutual Aid Thing Start?
There’s nothing new about the concept of mutual aid. It’s been around since prehistoric times most likely. Of course, it’s much more organized these days and works really well on the Internet. It’s also closely associated with deep roots in marginalized communities such as POC, LGBTQ+, and immigrant groups.
The Black Panthers ran health clinics and free breakfast programs because the government wouldn’t do it. Many immigrant communities pool rent, childcare help, and other financial responsibilities. You can find a million examples both semi-organized and simple.
There is No Shame in Getting Help
This is something that the powers that be do not want you to believe. They spend a lot of time, money, and energy convincing people that the financially challenged, ethnically different, or foreign folks are not worthy and are actually a burden that no good, upstanding (cis-straight-Christian-white) people should have to put up with. They want people to feel shame because it takes away their power.
First of all, recognize that just because someone is cis-straight-Christian-white, they are not automatically the enemy. This isn’t supposed to be a rant about politics and social struggles, however.
Asking for help doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re being honest. Plenty of people in today’s world are exactly where you are. If you and they do not reach out because of shame or some other issue, things will only get worse. Letting that happen is what the enemy does.
How Do You Find Mutual Aid?
The easiest way is to simply search for “mutual aid” in the name of your city or state online. You will find Instagram accounts, Facebook pages, separate websites, hashtags (#MutualAid, #MutualAidRequest, #HelpNotCharity), Reddit groups, and many other different types of options. Things like free community pantries and even the free little libraries, which give away books, are examples of mutual aid.
If you belong to a specific community group, you may find opportunities there. Libraries are also a great source of information in many cases.
What Can You Ask For?
Anything really, but let’s keep it real. Asking for a small amount of money to keep your lights on or a ride to the doctor, a bag of groceries, or help finding responsible childcare for your kid are the types of things that fit in the spirit of Mutual Aid. Asking for money to take a vacation, a brand-new pair of earrings, or bags of name brand stuff to sell are not.
Giving Help Even If You are Broke
There is story in the Christian Bible about people giving money to charity. Some flashy rich guys come in and dump a lot of coin into the coffers, but Jesus isn’t impressed. Then a poor widow comes in and puts two tiny copper coins in. He points out that she gave more than anyone because she had less to start with.
When you get involved with Mutual Aid, remember that you are not required to give money to people. If you are down to your own last two copper coins, keep it for yourself. However, also recognize that no matter where you are in life or how stable it is, you can still give something. You can care.
- Spread the word about Mutual Aid so that more people can get help and feel connected.
- Offer services like driving someone to a doctor, helping them fill out a job application, or babysitting so they can keep an important appointment.
- Offer time. Sometimes it helps just to listen or talk with someone who could use some support.
- Checking with people – the elderly neighbor who lives next door, an acquaintance who just came out, or the single parent across the hall.
Setting Mutual Aid Boundaries – Keep It Safe
In your desire to help others or find help yourself, always remember that safety comes first. Unfortunately, any platforms that include requests will sometimes have unscrupulous characters trying to take advantage. Protect yourself by meeting in public places, listening to your gut feelings about people or situations, and setting boundaries. If in doubt, ask in the community itself whether something is a good idea or not.
This Is How We Win (Or At Least Survive)
The system wants to isolate people and keep us fighting with each other for scraps.
But what if we shared? What if we protected each other? What if we look beyond these fake boundaries and focused on the heart of the matter?
If you’re struggling – ask.
If you have a little bit extra – offer.
If you’re somewhere in between like most of us, stay connected, grounded, open-minded, and kind.